Abuse Recovery
If Love Isn’t Patient and Kind, It Isn’t God’s Love
Do you ever fear your partner? Does your partner consistently disregard your boundaries? Do you find yourself apologizing to your partner on a daily basis? Every domestic violent relationship is different. Mine involved physical, emotional, and financial abuse. During the course of this relationship I lost my home, my car, my savings, my reputation in the community, several friends, and a dream of love I didn’t want to let go of. But it could have been worse.
I could have lost custody of my kids. Or the kids and I could have been seriously hurt—or dead.
I always felt my abusive marriage was an exception because my husband suffered from PTSD. I also believed that true love meant putting his needs over my own—including my needs for peace and safety.
From entering and leaving an abusive relationship, taking legal actions and starting over, and moving into emotional recovery, victims face an epic journey of the heart. Abusive relationships are often confusing because the abuser can have different “sides” to their personality. The victim might have conflicting, inconsistent feelings because of broken trust.
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
–John 8:32
Walking away from an abusive relationship can seem impossible when you have deep feelings for somebody, particularly someone who has also endured trauma in their life and tells you that they need you. An abusive intimate relationship can be so stressful and damaging that it causes a victim to lose their sense of self. Combine this with trauma exposure and it’s impossible to make clear decisions.
I have great news to share with you. There are resources and education available to help you find clarity and create peace and safety in your life.
Below you will find my blogs on abuse recovery. I also want to connect you with the organization that assisted me in my recovery. It’s called ARMS (Abuse Recovery Ministry Services). They offer a free, faith-based recovery program called Her Journey. If interested, you can learn about it here.
I went through a state-ran program before ARMS that did not offer the spiritual, Biblical truths and support. Although interesting and insightful, it didn’t lead to my change-of heart and I kept returning to my abuser. I couldn’t find enough of a reason not to. The love I had for my abuser was greater than any I had ever experienced, apart from my love for my kids.
What makes ARMS different from other domestic violence programs is that it teaches you of a love that’s bigger than any intimate relationship with a person. It centers around a growing relationship with God through his Word. I am thrilled to tell you that my life has been restored. I have full custody of both of my kids was able to get back on my feet financially. I spent years drawing closer to God and developing a deep relationship that fulfilled me in ways no relationship with a man has ever.
I am now remarried to a man who respects me and examples grace to everyone around him, including our kids. He tells me almost daily that he’s the luckiest man in the world. God restored me with a new home and daily provisions. I am trusted in leadership positions and can talk about my past to our community with gratitude for how God has lifted me.
I Chose God, and God Gave Me Everything I needed.
My Blogs on Abuse Recovery:
About Her Journey Classes and Groups
Her Journey is a 15-week faith-based, non-denominational class (loosely based on Psalm 23) designed to meet weekly and assist women in healing from current or past abusive or controlling relationships.
Topics include:
THROUGH THE VALLEY
In the first five classes, the effects abuse, denial, boundaries, anger, perfectionism and the need for affection are addressed.
PAST THE SHADOWS
The next five classes focus on issues like depression, renewing the mind, submission vs oppression, loneliness, understanding limits and the importance of where to focus our attention.
INTO HIS LIGHT
In the final classes, topics include choices, self-esteem and finding purpose. Discover what love looks like and how to live victoriously!
Classes are free to attendees (paid for by donations & grants). They are appropriate for women ages 14 and up. You may begin at any time and continue as often as needed.
Classes at North Coast Church begin this fall. You can register at North Coast Church Click Here for Her Journey Classes at North Coast Church. Learn more about this program at Abuserecovery.org. This program is offered in many cities as well as online through Zoom.
